Finding the Future in the Past
by Melchy
Summary: When a lost gift is returned to Carolyn on her birthday, twenty years from when it was given, she discovers an interesting connection between it and her life now.


Disclaimer: The characters from the Ghost and Mrs. Muir belong to 20th Century Fox and David Gerber Productions. Jenny Preston belongs to CBS Television and Cave Creek Productions. Everyone else including the Purple Petal belong to me. I make no money off of anything.

This story was written in 2004, and was recently found. I guess you could say out of the archives! Thanks to Susan and Denise for editing and their encouragement and suggestions. (There was no one better!) Big thank you to Becky who had the original idea and reminded me that it still might be out there somewhere.

Rating T

Carolyn woke up that morning, feeling very different then she had the night before. She rolled over in her warm bed, careful not to disturb her cousin Jenny who was still sleeping and wiggled her toes under the covers. She was 16! She hadn't thought she would ever be 16 and now suddenly she was.

Her coming out party, she wasn't fond of that term but it worked for lack of a better one, had been last week and it had been more wonderful than she could have imagined. They had held it in the main ballroom of the Philadelphian hotel and her father had hired a live band and everything. But today she was going to have a party with just her family, and she was looking forward to it maybe more than she had the other. Sixteen!

Walking over to the closet, she pulled out her new dress, blue with narrow straps. It made her look a little more grownup than her father liked but she couldn't wait until Rich saw her in it. It wasn't as fancy as the white formal she had worn last week, but she liked it so much better. Especially the full skirt that would stand out when she danced and even though there wouldn't be a live band, she would be quite content with the 45's that she had been collecting.

"That dress was made for you." she heard Jenny say.

Carolyn turned around towards her cousin and smiled. "Do you really think so?" she asked anxiously. "Do you think Richard will like it?"

'If he doesn't, he's a dunce." the attractive blond sat up, throwing back the covers, placing her feet on the carpeted floor.

Jenny Stephenson, Carolyn's mother's sister Margaret's child, was staying with them over the Thanksgiving holiday. She was a freshman at New York University and Carolyn's favorite cousin. Her mother and step-father had moved to California over the summer and since the trip was too expensive, it had been decided that Jenny would stay with the Williams' now and go see her new home in San Diego at Christmas.

The two cousins were thrilled to be together again, having spent most of their summers at their Grandmother Cabot's beach house in Cape Cod. The fact that the two of them looked strikingly similar had helped them get away with a lot of fun and some of their antics were still talked about by the family with great affection.

"So who is coming to the party tonight, Carey?" Jenny asked, reaching for her robe. 'I know Lily and her newest conquest are coming." and they both giggled.

Their grandmother Lily Cabot was a free spirit who had married into old money after their grandfather had died, and in a short time her new husband had also died and had left her extremely well off. She loved to travel around the world and had men falling at her feet.

"Yes, his name is Antonio and he's only 35." Carolyn shook her head. "And he's very well put together, as Lily told Mother."

"I would like to live like Lily." Jenny sighed. "Not a care in the world, all the money you could spend and nothing but free time."

"Oh, I don't know." Carolyn shook her head. "I mean that would be very nice but I think I will be quite content married to Richard and have a home and doing all the things that husbands and wives do."

"You are to young to be thinking like that." Jenny shook her head. "There are lots of men you could still meet, you have your whole life ahead of you."

"And you're a dried up old prune at 18?" Carolyn laughed and Jenny with her.

"Breakfast, girls." Emily Williams called up the stairs and they hurried down to the kitchen; following the scent of bacon that flooded the air.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Her mother and father were there, of course, and her Uncle Henry along with her cousins Hazel and Harriet. Jenny was thankfully there to equal out the horror of Hazel and Harriet, twins who looked alike, thought alike and were not her favorite relations. She doubted the poor things were anybody's favorite-- they were just so, well, Hazel and Harriet.

Her best friends Janie and Susannah were there and, of course, Richard was there. Richard Muir had been Carolyn's best friend since they were five years old and had been her steady boyfriend for a year. His cousin Robert had also been invited. Robert was two years older and handsomer but Carolyn only had eyes for Richard. She thought of Bobby as a brother, which was good because that's how Richard thought of him, too.

Lily Cabot, her grandmother, was there and her friend Antonio, who looked like the statue David, and it was because of him that Uncle Henry's wife Ellen was not there. Ellen thought that Emily William's mother was much too wild and shouldn't be allowed to flaunt her heathenish lifestyle in front of others. Carolyn had promised Hazel and Harriet that the first crack they made about Lily or her friend, she would personally escort them out.

The door bell rang and she opened it to find her Grandfather Williams standing there with a bouquet of carnations and a huge present. "Hello, little girl." he kissed her forehead. "Only not so little anymore," he added as he handed her the flowers. "I am sorry I'm late."

"You are never late, Grandpa." she took his arm and brought him into the room. Everyone looked up in greeting and he took his chair beside the couch, Carolyn sitting in the place of honor in the middle of the couch, surrounded by presents on both sides, Richard at one end, Jenny on the other.

While she opened her gifts, everyone sat watching and talking about how it wasn't that long ago that she had just been a little girl and her mother saying something about home movies and Carolyn praying that it wouldn't get that far. She loved her family, the whole big noisy bunch and knew if they weren't teasing her as they were, things wouldn't be the same.

Her parents gave her a silver heart necklace with her initials engraved in the back, Lily's gift was a pair of diamond stud earrings and her grandfather's gift of leather bound volumes of Shakespeare was just what she wanted. Richard brought his gift over in a box with a removable lid and set it down in front of her. "I hope you like it." he said as he sat back down and she gave him an adorable smile.

Taking the lid off, a tiny white kitten who was mostly tail, came jumping out into her arms, placing its little paw on her face and giving out a frustrated meow. 'Oh Richard!" she breathed. "She's perfect."

With misty eyes she smiled at him, leaning over and kissing her boyfriend's cheek, before turning back to the little kitty who was trying to crawl up her neck. "Does she have a name?"

"No, that's up to you." Richard beamed.

"Well we will have to think of something special, won't we sweetie?" she petted the top of the kitten's head. "Something very good." Laughing she retrieved the kitten from her chest and placed it on her lap.

"Let's see what else we have here." she spoke to it gently. "There are a few more." She opened a box of perfume from Hazel and Harriet and a sweater from Uncle Henry and Aunt Ellen. The last present was from Jenny, Carolyn ripping the paper open to find a book with a picture of a sailing ship on the cover.

"Oh, Jenny!" she squealed, flipping the book over, eagerly scanning the back cover.

"Well, I know how you love anything that deals with ships and pirates and the like so when I saw it, I knew it was just for you. I hope you like it."

"I will." she assured her cousin. The book fell open to the middle page, which was a picture of the most wonderful-looking man she had ever seen. "Oh my," she whispered, her eyes being drawn to the photograph. "What a magnificent man." He was completely incredible, she couldn't help but think, as she stared at the black and white picture of what the caption said was a typical sea captain of the 1850's. He was standing in the middle of a downtown street in what the next page said was London, a popular shore leave spot with seamen. His amazing features and strong body seemed to block out the background of the buildings and people around him.

"What is it?" Richard asked, causing her to look up and notice the questions on everybody's face.

"Oh, it's just one of the pictures." She passed the book to Richard, hating to let it out of her sight for even one second.

Her boyfriend shrugged and passed it on to Carolyn's grandfather who took the book and looked at the page critically. "Ah, I see he was a man of great taste."

"Why do you say that, Grandpa?" Carolyn had to ask, watching her book being passed to her father.

"Well, he's standing outside the Purple Petal."

"Not the Purple Petal story." Brad rolled his eyes. Obviously it was a story he had heard many times, but everyone else was more than a little curious.

"The Purple Petal was probably the most respectable brothel in all of London." Jonathan Williams stated.

"Brothel!" Harriet dropped the book as though it were contaminated and Carolyn winced. Lily picked it up and started looking through it.

"When I was overseas in the Great War, " the old man continued, "1918, I was just a very young man but everyone was talking about the Purple Petal and I had to go, of course. There wasn't, or isn't, a classier..."

"I think that's enough." Uncle Henry shushed his father.

"It doesn't mean the man in the picture was going in there." Emily tried to soothe feathers.

"No, he's probably coming out." her father in law smiled, "I mean, see the look on his face."

This brought smiles to some and shocked looks from the others and Carolyn was trying hard not to giggle. For her part, she didn't care if he was coming in or going out, she just wanted to look at him.

"You didn't go in there, did you, Grandpa?" Harriet asked, putting on her saintliest look.

"Of course I did." he nodded. "Your grandmother would have been like one of those women in _Gone With the Wind _and killed me if I hadn't. Just because you go into a place like that doesn't mean you have to take advantage of the services. I went to see the marble stairway, the velvet curtains and the ivory..."

Jenny who was now holding the book, came over to sit down beside Carolyn and the two cousins continued to stare at the picture. "If I had known he was in here, I would bought the book just for him."

"He's worth it." Carolyn sighed. "I wonder what he was like?"

"I don't know, does it say anything else about him?" They started looking down the accompanying page, not finding anything that was helpful, but it didn't stop them from admiring the tall, handsome seaman.

"I think you are gazing at the picture just a bit too much." Richard came over and took the book from Carolyn. "He's not that much to look at."

"Speak for yourself." she teased him, looking up into her boyfriend's brown eyes. "I think he's more than a little to look at."

"Leave the book with Jenny and come with me." he took her hand and helped her up off the couch. "Take care of our boy there, Jen." he winked as headed for the French doors leading out to the patio, while everyone was still talking about the Purple Petal.

Making sure the door was closed behind them, Richard drew her near and kissed her soundly.

"There." she smiled up at him. "A bit more of a proper thank you, for my kitty."

"I'm glad you really like her ." he kissed her nose. "There was some objection to what I wanted to get you. I was told that had to wait for next year. So I asked your parents and they said a cat would be fine."

"Well, she's perfect." she assured him. "I think Louisa and I will become very good friends."

"Louisa?" he questioned.

She smiled, shaking her head, "for Louisa May Alcott of course."

"Oh, of course." It was his turn to shake his head. "I should have known. And maybe it will keep you from looking at that picture."

"Jealous?" she smiled. "He is just a picture after all and you are a flesh and blood boyfriend . And hopefully next year even more, but I still won't be dead and he is very good looking."

"I guess I could grow a beard." Richard chuckled and they found their kiss once more. In the past year, the two of them had become much more aware of one another in a physical sense and while it made things sweeter, it was also harder.

The door rattled and they pulled apart, Carolyn giving her father a sunny smile as he put his head outdoors.

"Come on in, you two." he beckoned. "I think the talk is a little tamer and it's cold out here."

"On our way." she assured him.

Carolyn and her boyfriend of one year, and friend of 11, held hands and went back into the cozy family room. The rest of the evening was quite enjoyable, with talk continuing, a little dancing and Carolyn beating everyone in a game of pool, except for Robert Muir, who challenged his cousin's girlfriend to the next time the families got together. Several times during the night, Carolyn or Jenny would bring up the picture in the book because it was fun to see Richard roll his eyes and hear Bobby tease him about losing his girl to an illustration.

After the two girl cousins were in bed, that night, they took out the book and looked through the entire thing, reading and paying attention to each picture, but it was always the one of the more- than- handsome sea captain that they came back too. Long after they knew they should be asleep, they lay awake in the dark, giggling as they made up stories about him, wondering if had a large crew, where he would usually sail and how many women might he actually have in every port.

"He more than likely had his share of running from jealous husbands as well." Jenny reflected as she held the book up at an angle so they both could see the picture.

"How romantic," Carolyn shivered. "Can't you just see him dashing out a window just inches away from the husband coming in with a sword?" and they both giggled.

The phone at her bedside rang and she picked it up, shaking her head and laughing as she heard the voice on the other end. "Good night, Richard." she finally said, a little louder than normal. "We want to get back to our gazing."

It was past 2:00 in the morning when the cousins finally went to sleep, Carolyn taking her book and putting it under her pillow. It had been a wonderful day, being with her family and friends, Richard holding her and kissing her as he had, and getting all of the lovely presents. Louisa had a bed of her own, but five minutes after the girls were in their bed, she had plopped her little white self up on Carolyn's feet and dared her new mistress to move her. And with thoughts of her sixteenth birthday in her head, Carolyn fell asleep.

Louisa awakened her new owner the next morning with a massage on her chest, a sleepy Carolyn lifting her hand to stroke the kitten's soft fur. "Good morning, Lou." she whispered to her cat. "I wish I could look that good in the morning." Jenny was already up and so Carolyn stretched out a bit, trying to take in the dream she had had the night before--a dream so real, she could still feel the excitement that had built in her throughout.

If she closed her eyes she could still see herself as she had appeared in the dream, older than she was now but not a lot. She had been with HIM -- the man in the book and they had, well, she felt her face turn red even though she knew no one could see her thoughts. She and Richard had kissed like that and held each other like close that, but.. and she felt her whole body flush. It was like the Harlequin romance books that Jenny had smuggled home from her aunt's house in Canada and they kept hidden in the closet so Emily couldn't find them-- only better. She felt a flutter in her stomach and her lips actually felt kissed, recently kissed. Was she abnormal? Did such a thing happen to everyday normal girls, like her and Jenny?

"Jen?" she asked as her cousin came in the door. "Can I, I ask you something?"

"Of course." Jenny sat down on the bed, Louisa leaving Carolyn's chest to sit on the other girl's lap, who began to absentmindedly stroke her fur. "What's on your mind?" Then seeing her younger cousin's flushed face, she leaned in a bit. "Is everything all right, Carey?"

"I had the strangest dream last night." Carolyn sat up, clutching her pillow in front of her. "I was in the dream, only a bit older I think and I was wearing the dress I had on at my coming out party and I was with HIM."

"Him?" Jenny looked confused, then suddenly her face brightened. "Oh HIM. The seaman in the book!"

"Yes, him." Carolyn nodded. "And we were, well, he kissed me."

"But that's not what is making you look like a tomato, is it?"

"No," Carolyn shook her head, her heart thumping like a bowling ball was loose in her chest. "And we, well, we ,he, well, Richard and I have never done anything like that!" she blushed even more.

"You didn't, um, well, you know?" Jenny leaned in a bit.

"NO! We didn't," Carolyn shook her head for emphasize. "It didn't go quite that far."

"It never does." Jenny sighed. "You think it will but it never does. But I know I always wake up feeling a bit strange."

"So, I'm not abnormal?" Carolyn got out of bed, starting to feel a little better.

"Well, if you are, I am too." her cousin smiled. "Don't worry about it, Carey. It's just part of growing up and hey, think of who you had the dream about." and she gave her younger cousin a big grin.

The next two days went by in a whirl of activity. The time was filled with shopping and going to the movies, ice skating, taking a tour of historic Philadelphia and the nights were filled with going out to see friends with Richard and Robert escorting the girls where ever they wanted to go. They usually ended up heading back to the Williams' where the four young people would play pool or ping pong, play board games and talk about nothing important.

The book was forgotten in the shuffle of the days, the book -- but not the picture of the sea captain. She couldn't wait to get him out and look at him again, when she could just loose herself in the moment. Jenny left that Monday and Carolyn felt very lonely for the next few days. She missed having a sister to talk too, but she knew that she and her cousin would always be there for one another.

"And you always have me." Richard assured her, as they went for a walk down the street where they had both lived since they were five years old.

"As long as I have you, I'm set for life." she smiled before giving him a kiss.

"How is the guy in the book?" he asked as they headed back to her house.

"Funny, you should ask that, Richard Joseph." she scolded. "It was a funny joke but you can give it back now."

"Give it back?" he looked bewildered. "I don't have it."

"Well, it has disappeared and I can't find it. And since I know how you feel about the unknown seaman, I figured you stole it as a joke."

"Brilliant idea! " he grinned. "But no, I didn't do it. Honest, Carey."

"Are you sure?" She did believe him, well, almost. "Or you didn't talk Bobby into doing it?"

'I solemnly swear I didn't touch the thing." he held up his hand like a person on the witness stand. "You'll find it, don't worry about it. I'll come over and help you look, if you'd like."

"No, that's alright." she slipped her hand in his coat pocket. "You're right, it will show up." And they stood on the porch, sharing kisses until the light came on, signaling it was time for Carolyn to come in.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Carolyn Muir woke up from a sound sleep, sitting straight up, wondering for a minute where she was. Looking around her room, seeing the familiar things that she loved, she laughed at herself. But she had just had the strangest dream. She had been wearing the dress she had worn for her coming out party -- so many years ago and she had been with, well, it was HIM. He had held her close as they had danced along the river and whispered sweet things in her ear, and then they, well, like Jenny told her so many years ago, dreams never went that far. But she hadn't had that dream in 20 years -- why now? She had thought the dream incredibly erotic for a sixteen year old girl, but now at thirty-six, it still seemed to be quite sexy and she was much more experienced in such things.

Shaking her head, she got out of bed and drew on her bathrobe. It was her birthday and she wasn't supposed to know that the kids were planning to make her dinner and take her to the theater to see a stage version of _Oklahoma._

It was a perfect birthday. Martha made her favorite breakfast and Captain Gregg had brightened her table with roses. The children gave her their gifts -- a necklace from Candy and a bottle of perfume from Jonathan and a new purse from Martha.

The door bell rang and Carolyn got up to see who was coming to Gull Cottage so early on a Saturday morning, opening the door to the post man who gave her a nervous smile and handed her a package. "Thank you." she smiled at him, giving him a bit for his trouble, wondering who would be sending her anything. The gift from her parents had come last week and the Muir's always sent money. The return address said it was J. Preston and she gave out a surprised cry. Jenny!

Ripping it open, a letter came falling out and she bent to pick it up.

_Carey,  
I have no idea how I ended up with this, but imagine finding it after all these years. Annie found it in a box when were packing up for our move to California and asked me why we had one of Aunt Carolyn's books and who was the groovy looking man in the middle! I guess he still has sex appeal, twenty years later. So here it is, safe and sound back to you. Will write more later,  
Love,  
Jen_

_  
_  
With her heart beating a bit faster than before, Carolyn took the book out of the envelope and touched the cover like she was greeting a long lost friend. Funny the book should resurface today after she had had the dream just last night. Opening it, she read the inscription that Jenny had put there so long ago, her sixteenth birthday coming back to her in crystal clarity. Louisa had lived a good long life as the queen of the Williams household staying there even when Carolyn and Robert had married and had their own home. Everyone including her and Richard had expected the two of them to marry but life was funny sometimes and as it turned, Bobby Muir was the one who had won her hand. Never thinking she would be grateful for her father making her wait until she had a year of college to marry her boyfriend, she knew now that it had been one of the best things to ever happen to her.

She still had the diamond stud earrings, kept safe in her jewelry box, along with the silver heart necklace. Her Shakespeare books were in very sad shape, having been read much too much, and were in her room at her parents' house, a pressed carnation in each volume. If only her grandfather were here to tell his Purple Petal story again. She felt her throat choke with tears.

"Mom." Candy came out to see what was taking her so long. "Mom, are you okay?"

"I'm fine." she nodded, blinking back the tears. "Look what I got." Carolyn handed her daughter the book. "Jenny gave me this book when I was sixteen years old and it disappeared shortly afterwards. I blamed your Uncle Richard for years for taking it because he was jealous of the picture of the man in the middle of the book." and she laughed.

"That's silly." Candy rolled her eyes. "Which picture is it Mommy?"

"Open the book to the exact middle. He was so handsome, Jenny and I laid awake at night and made up stories about him and drooled over him."

Her eleven year old opened the book as instructed, but instead of the look of awe Carolyn expected to see, she watched her daughter roll her eyes and close the book again. "Aw Mom, the only thing I see is a picture of Captain Gregg."

Captain Gregg! "Oh no sweetie, that's not Captain Gregg." she reached for the book. "It's just a very handsome seaman, it even says he is unknown." and she opened to the middle page. Looking down at the a shiver running down her spine. It was, well, it was Captain Daniel Gregg! "Oh my." she said weakly, the book falling shut and almost slipping from her fingers. Hurriedly she snapped it up closer and opened to the page again. It was unmistakably Captain Gregg. Her hands were shaking as she looked at him, standing there in a stance she found so familiar. All of those years ago, she had had this book and had called him magnificent and had had that dream! She felt her face turning red and she wasn't sure if she should laugh or cry. She had dreamed of an intimate night with Daniel Gregg when she was sixteen years old!

She didn't see him materialize behind her, his face peering over her shoulder at what she was holding.

"Don't scare me like that. 'she chided as she held the book close against her chest.

"I'm sorry, my dear, but I was most curious to see what it was that was holding your attention so closely."

"Oh, it's just an old book." she tried to sound casual. "Nothing important."

"May I see it?" he held out his hand.

Mutely she handed it to him, wondering what he would say, when he saw the picture. "Well, I'll be." he rubbed his nose. "That, I believe, is me."

"Well, it does look a little bit like you." she was nonchalant. "Maybe in the face a little." she shrugged, hoping it made her look like she didn't care.

"What do you mean, a little bit?" he challenged. "It looks a lot like me, because it is me. And, I dare say, I look quite handsome."

She bit her lips so she wouldn't laugh. "Typical ego." she shook her head. "Can I have my book back now please?"

"I don't think so." he held it tight. "Something about this book bothers you and I would like to know what it is."

"Don't be silly. "she laughed. "It's just a book that my cousin got me when I was sixteen that got lost and she's returning it. That's all. Nothing more to it."

'Then why did you turn such a nice red, when you looked at my picture?"

"You saw that?" she shrieked, reaching for her book, but he kept it out of her way.

"I did indeed. "he chuckled. "It was an attractive shade of red."

'Can I please just have my book?"

He handed her the book and she took it in a firm grasp. The kids came out with their news of what they had planned for the rest of the day and she got caught up in their excitement. But she knew that Daniel wasn't going to let the picture rest. He was waiting for her when she returned late that evening with a tray filled with her favorite cookies and a pot of tea and small box.

"Daniel, you already gave me the roses." she scolded him. "You shouldn't have given me anything else."

"Perhaps not, but since I only get one time a year to spoil you." he said quietly, giving her a look that made her blush. "Happy Birthday, darling."

She opened the box to find a necklace -- her birthstone on a silver chain, the yellowish jewel glistening in the firelight. "Oh Daniel, it's beautiful." she breathed. "Would you put it on me, please?"

"My pleasure." he took the delicate chain and with only a bit of trouble clasped it around her neck. The pendant lay in the hollow of her throat and he declared it to be a work of art. "The necklace and the throat." he said with a smile.

While they shared the snack, they talked in their easy way of conversation, saying much more than the words they actually used. About half way though their talk, she pushed back a lock of hair from her face and smiled. "Do you still want to know about the picture?"

"Yes, " he nodded ."I would like to very much know."

"Then I'll tell you." She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "When I was sixteen, my cousin Jenny bought that book for me, because she knew I loved anything to do with the sea. In the middle of that book was a picture -- which I know now is you. But I didn't know that then, I only knew that he was handsome and magnificent and that I had a huge crush on him. I had it so bad, my boy friend got jealous. And that first night I dreamt about me, me and him, the man in the picture. And I had never had a dream like that in my life -- it was, well it was quite erotic for a sixteen year old and I was , well I never forgot it, or him -- you."

Daniel Gregg looked at her through eyes of love and she felt a slight blush across her cheeks. "Well then, I would say it's a very important book." and he moved it over to rest on her lap, his picture staring up at her.

"Very important." she nodded, touching the smooth paper and then reached out a hand towards him.

He took her hand in his, rubbing the palm gently with his thumb, his eyes never leaving her face. Gently he touched each finger in turn, rolling over her knuckles and down between each digit, before turning it over and placing a kiss on her wrist. She held her breath as his mouth moved up her arm, his lips nestling in the crook of her arm, pressing kisses in that sensitive spot.

"Oh Daniel." his name tripped off her tongue, stirring something in the seaman and he drew closer, placing his lips on hers, their mouths dancing with one another in their own special steps. His hands pressed into her back, and she nestled her body against his, loving the way it fit into his, like it has been made to do so.

She protested when his lips left hers, but when they began to run a smooth trail down her neck and into the hollow of her throat, she forgave him.

'I hope I'm not dreaming now." she whispered as his mouth moved down her neck,

"Such a thing as this should not be left to a dream." he told her.

It was her dream. Only it was real! This was truly happening to her.

"My darling." he hushed her with a kiss on her lips and then gathered her up and took her to his bed.

And this time she did not wake up. This time it was real. And this time it was complete.

It had been perhaps the best birthday of all.


End file.
